Our Weekend

Recently, my husband and I had our "weekend".  This is one of those weekends that we would like to do every 2-3 months but only get to do 1-2 times a year.  This particular one was one of the best ones so far, in part due to our recent resolve to renew our D/s dynamic.

WARNING:  this is a recap of our weekend - my thoughts and feelings on our activities.  Not quite a scene report, but could come close, so if that isnt your thing, feel free to stop reading now...

First, J made a schedule.

Be still my heart.

I know it sounds silly to most, but when a man who is a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants, roll-with-it, comewhatmay sorta guy (not to mention a world-class procrastinator) makes a schedule to woo his lady, the lady is woooed!

The fact that he planned and organized and executed a weekend for me had me swooning before the weekend started.

Rules J created for me for this weekend:
I was to cum at least 5 times per day with or without his help (well that just wasn’t a problem)
I was to assist in at least one of his orgasms per day (check!)
I was to write 2 essays over the weekend of a kinky/fantasy/erotic nature
I was to stimulate him outside of our hotel room to erection at least once per day (check... well sorta - tho the third day was *home* - guessing that counted :))
I was to talk dirty to him during our hotel stay (for at least 30 minutes)
I was to use safewords (something we don’t normally do - mostly because we RARELY do anything remotely dangerous nor do I have any unusual medical conditions that might make something normal, dangerous)



Special things my husband did for me this weekend:
made me an appointment for a mani/pedi at my favorite spa
made reservations at two of my favorite restaurants - one for lunch one day and one for dinner the next day
made reservations for two nights at one of my favorite hotels
paid attention to me all weekend, with very little phone/computer distraction
set up an environment for romance and bonding through the above and little things like candles and doughnut buying and movie rentals and relaxing of the rules,etc.

and then, because I found two of my assignments too difficult at this point in time, he didn’t force me on them... nor did he complain or pout or mope (yes, HOH's pout - it can happen!)  he held me and he loved me and he let me know that he was disappointed but that he understood.  This weekend came a little too soon for one part of our relationship but was soooooo overdue for our relationship as a whole that it couldn’t be postponed.  I believe I will be up for all sorts of instructions like that in a few more months - certainly by the next time we are able to get away like this.

sexy things my hunny did for me this weekend:
Our first night, he laid out our toys (but not the floggers *pout*) and told me to choose one that would be used on me.  I surprised him (I think/hope) and chose the butt plug (the smaller one tho!!).  He had the table set up and laid me out on it.  He warmed me up with stroking and kisses.  Then he lubed that sucker up and stuck it in.  That doesn’t sound too romantic does it?  Well - it's not.  There are some things that SOUND kinky/sexy... but they just arent in practice.  It's definitely a different feeling.  It DOES add to certain sensations - particularly when he uses his very well practiced fingers in other areas... definite sensation adding.  Unfortunately, when it is gone, it adds a sensation that is not exactly conducive to sexual ... expression.  For the fellow female ejaculators out there... you probably had a time before you were comfortable with it that you constantly worried about peeing, right?  That was *hard* to overcome, for me anyways... but that OTHER sensation... the OTHER concern about "letting loose"... you don’t just get over that.  and it certainly limits some... expressions!!

and then I got to have my doughnut *g*

Ring Toss!!

Well, no, not exactly... first because my aim isnt all that great and second, because my aim isnt all that great, I would have just turned the whole thing into a sticky mess..

But I did get to eat my favorite doughnut off my favorite toy :)  That was actually kind of fun.  Not nearly as messy as it sounds.  Mostly because the confection really only sorta sat on top...any further down and it would have split right open and fallen off!!  *no, my husband didn’t make me say that :)*

I have often been reluctant to "play" with food in that manner - mostly because I'm not really into messy.  I do, on occasion, because my husband likes it.  But it's not usually all that exciting for me.  I enjoyed this time.  The sugar glaze melted easily in my mouth and made it all sooooo sweet :)

Our second night, I was shut in the bathroom until I was allowed to come out.  And I came out to candles everywhere!  The table was once again set up... but with plastic on it... RUH ROH...

I was instructed to lay down on the table, face up, eyes closed.  I did.  I suddenly had cold cold cold baby oil being dripped all over me!  Wait - this might be ok, I was getting a massage - cool!  And he did massage in the oil - but it didn’t last very long.  And I was getting cold.  And then I was hot.

in tiny little bursts of hot as hot wax dripped over my belly and chest and thighs...

We hadnt done this in YEARS!  whoooohoooo!  I love candle play and fire play (tho i've never actually gotten to do that exactly, but I've seen it done and I have had other things that are similar) and cupping.

J spent the next 30 or so minutes making patterns and playing in the wax while I closed my eyes and enjoyed the anticipation and alternating cold/hot/cold/hot of the wax dripping in one area and cooling to hardness in another.

But then - there was clean up... did I mention that some things just SOUND more fun in theory than they are in practice?

I'm sure there is some sort of special technique for getting all that wax off the body, but jeeze louise, we didn’t find it that night! ... at one point, he was scraping it off with a steak knife (anyone got any ideas??)  we spent the next 45 minutes PLUS trying to get me clean... I think I still have a few pieces stuck to my thighs!!

But it was still fun... and funny!!

and then there was the morning sex!  I love morning sex - and I particularly love morning hotel sex!  Two mornings in a row - whoop whoop!

Weekend lows:  I was unable to follow all of my instructions.  I hate disappointing my husband.  I wish everything could be perfect - I wish I could be perfect, but I'm not.
Clean up - I want Hollywood sex!!! 
Eye infection - I wanted to look glamorous on our big night out... but I could only manage not hideous as my right eye was kind of puffy and I couldn’t put on very much eye make up at all without my eye watering like a spigot!  


Highs:  The restaurants - Ming Court and Capital Grille... I don’t care what my hips say, my mouth is LOVING the memories :)
The time, the time, the time - I treasure every moment we get to spend together as a family and as a couple.  We spend lots and lots of time together as a family... but the time we get to spend as a couple... no rush, no worries, just holding hands and holding on, loving each other and laughing and leaning in... those times are fewer and therefore slightly more precious right now.  I'm standing taller today and walking with a fuller heart because I got to spend so much concentrated time with my best friend. 

check in for the night

i don't like exercise...still...but it wasn't as difficult today

food logging was harder....had to take a pic of the snacks at church :(

i enjoyed this morning too :)

my school stuff was still chaotic....im just worried about getting behind before we have really started...

ily

Logging ... rules... stuff...

So - the dreaded "rules" showed up.

Well - actually - I think I only have the one true rule - and then a few daily tasks set to complete a goal.

I was so proud of myself for having finished ALL of my exercise goals this morning BEFORE breakfast even... and I went to log it into MyFitnessPal... and discovered that for some reason my daily calorie goals had magically changed overnight - and that my cardio goals had gone from like 4days/week to 7days/week - what happened to the Sabbath???  and apparently Hubby wanted my login/pswd for MFP for reasons OTHER than JUST to monitor my progress....

*sigh*

*bleh*

Great minds and all that...

In my room getting dressed... just thinking... and the idea of "rules" crossed my mind - and how my flesh really doesn’t want them.  In the flesh, I want to be a big girl and be in charge of myself... Queen of my own Domain.

But I know on some level, I crave rules.  I'm sure I don’t actually need someone else to make them for me.  I'm sure I could do it myself.  But it would probably be Easier .. and some of the rules might actual produce Change if someone else does them.

just passing idle thoughts

From there - I go to my computer to check on some things before I run out of the house... and I discover that my husband has sent me a "reading assignment".... http://bdsm-sexperts.blogspot.com/2011/06/how-to-start-your-own-sub-training.html ... to be exact.

I guess I'm gonna get some rules ...

making me smile!

Today was one of those days.  Trying to get 5,000 things done with an extra kid in the house, a flaky internet connection and possibly a lack of focus - again!

I finally got to a point where I said "I'm finishing this one last thing and I'm going to quit and maybe do some blog reading or other research"

I had to or my husband would have come home to a cranky wife.  He definitely does not like coming home to cranky wife or headache wife or "icantdoitanymore" wife.

So I read some blogs.  Today seemed to have a funny theme - which was perfect.  Now I've had some laughs ... a lot of laughs - my face hurts!... and I can go shower and get ready for my husband to come home with a refreshed spirit.

This wasn’t a "blog" but it was a quote on a blog...

"Learning to be submissive is a lot like canoeing down a river. You won't know what's around the next bend, it could get kind of rocky, you may encounter some rapids, and there will be some paddling involved."Stormy

I love it!!

I am NOT the lead dog

Todd Wilson is my favorite homeschool speaker/writer.

In his book "How to be a Great Wife, even though you Homeschool", he tells this great story about a dog sled to illustrate the relationship of a Christian husband and wife.

So a dog sled is a bunch of dogs (with a lead dog - he's important!) all tethered together with a Master calling the shots and telling the team where to go.

The lead dog is no "better" than any of the other dogs, he just has a specific job.  He is supposed to listen to the Master and follow his instructions.  All the other dogs are supposed to follow the lead dog.  When the Master says "turn right", the lead dog is supposed to turn right and the other dogs are to follow and thus the whole sled goes where the Master wanted it to go.

As far as I am concerned - awesome analogy of a Christian family.  The Master is of course God and the dad is the Lead Dog and the rest of the dogs are the wife and kids.  The dad is supposed to listen and follow instructions from God and the wife and kids are to follow.

But - suppose the Master calls out "turn right" and the lead dog turns left - the rest of the team follows and they are now going in the wrong direction.  The Master stops the sled and walks to the lead dog and smacks him on the head.  Bad dog, pay attention!


Ok, now, same scenario, but this time when the Master says to turn right and the lead dog turns left, the first dog of the rest of the pack (the wife of course), knows they are supposed to go right and so pulls against the lead dog to try to get the pack to go the "right way".  Now, the whole team is not only going the wrong direction, but it is all tangled up and who is the Master going to smack now?

BOTH of them.  Seems unfair, right?  the other dog was listening to the Master and knew where they were supposed to be going and was trying to follow the Master... right???

God gave us specific roles.  If he had wanted that second dog to be the one to lead, he would have put it in that position.  But he clearly has put the husband as the HOH - with all the responsibilities and burdens that come with that.  And he has tasked the wife with the job of FOLLOWING the husband.

I need this lesson in front of me EVERY DAY.  It goes along with "love your neighbor"... the second biggest commandment - it doesn’t matter how you interpret (twist) scripture, if what you are doing goes against that commandment, you are doing wrong.

And I have been given the ultimate commandment as a wife - Follow your husband, respect him, reverence him, obey him... doesn’t matter whatever else I think the family should be doing to follow a Christian walk.... if I am going against the first thing, I am doing wrong.

Lord help me to keep that focus!

Good stuff

An article definitely worth the time!

Dreams v. Reality

Hahahaha!  That article is more than 10 years old, but still so very pertinent.  It illustrates almost exactly what happened to *us*.

I sure hope we are smarter now.  I know we certainly have fewer stars in our eyes.  I don’t have to have it all, but I'm confident we can weave a few more strands into our daily tapestry.

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Introduction

How does one actually introduce one's self without taking so long they bore readers to _death_?

We are a Christian family.  Not just a nod-to-Jesus-have-church-on-sunday-when-there's-no-game-on... but a Pentecostal Holy Spirit Homeschooling Christ-like walk Christian family.

There - that aught to scare away 3/4 of the people.  And anyone else reading forward is fully warned!

My husband and I also have a very Dominant / submissive relationship.  When we can, he likes to pull out the floggers and carpet beaters and go to town on my backside.

Years ago we were heavily involved in the BDSM scene very publicly and enjoyed it greatly.  Then we moved to a state that simply does not have a very active scene, and the parts that are active weren't "our thing".

We got involved in a different scene.  An amazing church with a great group of friends - people who love us, pray for us, play with us (different kind of play of course). 

We thought we had to choose.  And we did, sort of, for a while. 

But who we are, specifically who we are in relation to each other has always sat there just under the surface.  But since we didn’t spend time feeding it, our D/s dynamic became a source of dissension and dissatisfaction.

On the surface, we are a typical busy family.  My husband has a somewhat demanding job that consumes a good portion of his time and attention.  I homeschool two older boys, plus we have two other children part-time and I manage a busy house as well as several volunteer groups.  As a family, we are active in our community, particularly our church community.

As a couple, and as individuals, we have made many mistakes (some gargantuan huge ones!)  But one thing we are both fairly good at is introspection and analyzing our problems/issues/mistakes.  Didn’t say we were great at it or that we had always done this - thus the earlier large mistakes in our lives... But we are trying very very hard to avoid those now and in the future.

I recently came to realize that starving our full D/s dynamic has created some serious problems that need to be reversed and/or changed for the future.  So here we go.

Getting back to where we belong

I thought i could have it all and ... i was wrong.

Rather i was wrong about having it all without having to work hard at it.  So i'm going to start working harder.  I want our dynamic back.  I'm going to do my best to work on my side.

1.  I'm going to spend more time each week re-immersing myself in the D/s world.
2.  I'm going to blog at least once a week to track my progress.

I hope that my husband will join me in some of these endeavors.