making me smile!

Today was one of those days.  Trying to get 5,000 things done with an extra kid in the house, a flaky internet connection and possibly a lack of focus - again!

I finally got to a point where I said "I'm finishing this one last thing and I'm going to quit and maybe do some blog reading or other research"

I had to or my husband would have come home to a cranky wife.  He definitely does not like coming home to cranky wife or headache wife or "icantdoitanymore" wife.

So I read some blogs.  Today seemed to have a funny theme - which was perfect.  Now I've had some laughs ... a lot of laughs - my face hurts!... and I can go shower and get ready for my husband to come home with a refreshed spirit.

This wasn’t a "blog" but it was a quote on a blog...

"Learning to be submissive is a lot like canoeing down a river. You won't know what's around the next bend, it could get kind of rocky, you may encounter some rapids, and there will be some paddling involved."Stormy

I love it!!

I am NOT the lead dog

Todd Wilson is my favorite homeschool speaker/writer.

In his book "How to be a Great Wife, even though you Homeschool", he tells this great story about a dog sled to illustrate the relationship of a Christian husband and wife.

So a dog sled is a bunch of dogs (with a lead dog - he's important!) all tethered together with a Master calling the shots and telling the team where to go.

The lead dog is no "better" than any of the other dogs, he just has a specific job.  He is supposed to listen to the Master and follow his instructions.  All the other dogs are supposed to follow the lead dog.  When the Master says "turn right", the lead dog is supposed to turn right and the other dogs are to follow and thus the whole sled goes where the Master wanted it to go.

As far as I am concerned - awesome analogy of a Christian family.  The Master is of course God and the dad is the Lead Dog and the rest of the dogs are the wife and kids.  The dad is supposed to listen and follow instructions from God and the wife and kids are to follow.

But - suppose the Master calls out "turn right" and the lead dog turns left - the rest of the team follows and they are now going in the wrong direction.  The Master stops the sled and walks to the lead dog and smacks him on the head.  Bad dog, pay attention!


Ok, now, same scenario, but this time when the Master says to turn right and the lead dog turns left, the first dog of the rest of the pack (the wife of course), knows they are supposed to go right and so pulls against the lead dog to try to get the pack to go the "right way".  Now, the whole team is not only going the wrong direction, but it is all tangled up and who is the Master going to smack now?

BOTH of them.  Seems unfair, right?  the other dog was listening to the Master and knew where they were supposed to be going and was trying to follow the Master... right???

God gave us specific roles.  If he had wanted that second dog to be the one to lead, he would have put it in that position.  But he clearly has put the husband as the HOH - with all the responsibilities and burdens that come with that.  And he has tasked the wife with the job of FOLLOWING the husband.

I need this lesson in front of me EVERY DAY.  It goes along with "love your neighbor"... the second biggest commandment - it doesn’t matter how you interpret (twist) scripture, if what you are doing goes against that commandment, you are doing wrong.

And I have been given the ultimate commandment as a wife - Follow your husband, respect him, reverence him, obey him... doesn’t matter whatever else I think the family should be doing to follow a Christian walk.... if I am going against the first thing, I am doing wrong.

Lord help me to keep that focus!

Good stuff

An article definitely worth the time!

Dreams v. Reality

Hahahaha!  That article is more than 10 years old, but still so very pertinent.  It illustrates almost exactly what happened to *us*.

I sure hope we are smarter now.  I know we certainly have fewer stars in our eyes.  I don’t have to have it all, but I'm confident we can weave a few more strands into our daily tapestry.

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Introduction

How does one actually introduce one's self without taking so long they bore readers to _death_?

We are a Christian family.  Not just a nod-to-Jesus-have-church-on-sunday-when-there's-no-game-on... but a Pentecostal Holy Spirit Homeschooling Christ-like walk Christian family.

There - that aught to scare away 3/4 of the people.  And anyone else reading forward is fully warned!

My husband and I also have a very Dominant / submissive relationship.  When we can, he likes to pull out the floggers and carpet beaters and go to town on my backside.

Years ago we were heavily involved in the BDSM scene very publicly and enjoyed it greatly.  Then we moved to a state that simply does not have a very active scene, and the parts that are active weren't "our thing".

We got involved in a different scene.  An amazing church with a great group of friends - people who love us, pray for us, play with us (different kind of play of course). 

We thought we had to choose.  And we did, sort of, for a while. 

But who we are, specifically who we are in relation to each other has always sat there just under the surface.  But since we didn’t spend time feeding it, our D/s dynamic became a source of dissension and dissatisfaction.

On the surface, we are a typical busy family.  My husband has a somewhat demanding job that consumes a good portion of his time and attention.  I homeschool two older boys, plus we have two other children part-time and I manage a busy house as well as several volunteer groups.  As a family, we are active in our community, particularly our church community.

As a couple, and as individuals, we have made many mistakes (some gargantuan huge ones!)  But one thing we are both fairly good at is introspection and analyzing our problems/issues/mistakes.  Didn’t say we were great at it or that we had always done this - thus the earlier large mistakes in our lives... But we are trying very very hard to avoid those now and in the future.

I recently came to realize that starving our full D/s dynamic has created some serious problems that need to be reversed and/or changed for the future.  So here we go.

Getting back to where we belong

I thought i could have it all and ... i was wrong.

Rather i was wrong about having it all without having to work hard at it.  So i'm going to start working harder.  I want our dynamic back.  I'm going to do my best to work on my side.

1.  I'm going to spend more time each week re-immersing myself in the D/s world.
2.  I'm going to blog at least once a week to track my progress.

I hope that my husband will join me in some of these endeavors.